Headline: Weekly Armory Unveils Surreal Chemical Props for the Comically Dangerous Shopper  Subtitle: In a city where shelves shift like weather, a futuristic gun shop swaps in spectacle over shells, offering non-lethal, theater-ready ‘munitions’ that provoke laughter more than fear. Image: Inside a chrome storefront, glass beakers glow on neon shelves; a holographic price tag reads 'This Cycle's Specials'; a robotic clerk with safety goggles hands a bright beaker labeled 'Confetti Velocity' to a bemused customer. Body: In a glittering futurescape, the chemical gun shop updates its inventory every cycle, turning danger into performance art that fires glitter, puns, and perfectly timed drum riffs. Customers drift along aisles of mood-modifying vials—calm, chaos, caffeination—while a jittery robot clerk hawks safety tips like a disco lecturer. The rotating stock is sold as education, with a safety label so bright you nearly need sunglasses, reminding shoppers that responsibility comes with a warranty and a wink. By closing, the crowd knows the real weapon is imagination, and the only casualty is the old notion that danger cannot be politely priced with a punchline.